Cleveland Browns News 1/8: Houston Texans Loom, Injuries Largely Avoided, and Dystopian Sports Epics

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The Cleveland Browns disnseped with a meaningless game Sunday with a minimum of damage and now begin to prepare for another trip to Houston. C.j. Stroud and Nico Collins await, as the Browns hope for a deep foray into the playoffs.

Good morning, Cleveland Browns fans!

Still high because of the post-gameday buzz? It was such a thriller down at (Bengals) Stadium in Cincinnati that I multitasked watching that nonsensical 31-14 Bengals win while fine-tuning my 2024 OBR financial projections during the second half. I cannot truthfully say which one I found more engaging.

It was pretty clear from the respective game threads on the OBR forums that I wasn’t the only one distracted by any other available pursuit during the game, as interest in how Browns back-ups might fare against the Bengals starters in a meaningless game only goes so far. It was clear by the end of the first quarter that the answer to that question was “not well” and that a quarterback with a couple of days experience, playing without many weapons, up against Trey Hendrickson and crew was not really a fair fight.

The important thing, though, is that the Browns resident demon in 2023 – injuries – were somewhat held at bay by simply keeping our starters free from actual football. Shelby Harris and Cedric Tillman both got dinged a bit, and we’ll get some clues as to how badly in the coming days. Both are very useful components of this team, so hopefully, both will be available for the Texans, who loom next Saturday at 4:30PM. Since Tillman is in the concussion protocol, I expect him to be in the informational equivalent of a black hole and not to know much until very late in the week.

Who won the Browns game?

Whatever their status, the Browns are completely on their own. They got no help from other NFL teams elsewhere on the schedule. As I wrote last week, the Houston Texans were my least desired match-up for the Browns, which could have been avoided had either the Indianapolis Colts or Jacksonville Jaguars managed to live up to their “win and in” opportunities. Both rolled over and died, and the Browns now have to travel down to Texas to visit C.J. Stroud and company.

I have to point out that the Browns are really the only thing going well for me in the entire sports world right now. My other Cleveland teams are moribund; the Ohio State Buckeyes finished in embarrassing fashion, the Baltimore Ratbirds are the #1 playoff seed, and Michigan plays for the National Championship tonight. I find myself, against all odds, putting all my sports fandom chips for on-field success in on the Cleveland Browns and Washington Huskies, a possibility that would have seemed remote at this point last year.

So, after a week of being submerged in spreadsheets and high-level planning while the Browns prepared for a meaningless game, I have emerged onto a desolate sports landscape where the Browns and Huskies are my only hopes. It sounds like an improbable dystopian sci-fi sports epic where our hero emerges into a blasted nuclear sports wasteland after two weeks in a bunker, but I’m hoping for a positive ending against all odds.

Such a story, if committed to paper, would be an improbable hero’s journey at best. Our hero would be an aging webdork, and the action would consist mostly of detailing him watching TV with a beer in his hand, but I think there’s a multi-million dollar blockbuster in this if, say, Steven Spielberg could be coaxed into doing it.

But, no, we’ll have to rely on someone far less qualified to document the tale. That someone will be me, the place will be this daily bloviation, and I hope you all stay tuned for a rollercoaster ride that hopefully lasts more than a week.

Browns regress because of struggle to grasp human element